Red Dawn (1984)

Before we review this film, the elephant in the room needs to be addressed: This plot is absolutely preposterous. I mean, absolutely "let's all drop acid and think of the maddest thing imaginable and let John Milius direct it" level bonkers. 

Now that is out of the way, we can begin. 

World War 3. Will it ever happen? Has it already happened? Who's to say? Famed Hollywood lunatic John Milius certainly had an opinion on how it might happen and this film was his testament to that. I'll try and surmise appropriately but essentially a coalition of bad countries (Russia, Cuba, Germany, Nicaragua etc.) have seemingly formed an alliance and attacked the United States, thus causing the aforementioned WWIII. They do this by parachuting what appears to be a handful of non-athletic looking soldiers into a no-name town somewhere in the heart of the midwest. Residents of this town are routinely slaughtered and/or imprisoned and all hell breaks loose. Furthermore, this all happens within the first five minutes of the film. Therefore the remainder of the film is dedicated to a small group of kids from the local high school who manage to escape the slaughter and must learn to either survive in the wild or perish at the hands of the enemy. All pretty compelling stuff so far. The gang is led, in the loosest possible sense, by Jed (Patrick Swayze) - a former star high school quarterback and almost quintessential jock. Jed's younger brother Matt (Charlie Sheen) and some of his buddies look to Jed to provide guidance during this seemingly trying time. After some minor skirmishes about how best to handle the apparent imminent doom of their life as they once knew it, the kids decide to take arms and fight back. 

Now, I mentioned earlier that the plot is insane. Sometimes that is okay, a lot of film-going requires one to suspend belief in order to enjoy what's being shown. Could a large shark knowingly terrorize a town? Probably not. But do we all think of that music whenever our feet stop touching the bottom of the ocean? Yes we do. So, as long as it at least rings true, audiences will tend to go with any plot - no matter how out there. 

Here we find ourselves at the other end of the spectrum where it is almost impossible to suspend belief and that is because, from both a plot and execution standpoint, this film is a mess. From the opening salvo, wherein the enemy starts massacring people it is unclear why or what is going on. It could be argued that this is a realistic depiction of the confusion and chaos that would undoubtedly occur if an event like this took place, but where I draw the line is what follows in the next 40 minutes. Rather than flee this terrifying, confusing, situation, these high school children with no discernible military experience whatsoever go from quivering messes (as children tend to when their parents have all been killed and they have no homes, food or clothing to speak of) to an elite guerilla unit, able to outsmart the enemy, outgun the enemy and show absolutely no mercy whatsoever to anyone in their path. They become, in the space of about 25 minutes, ruthless, elite, killing machines. Now, I am all for a ludicrous plot and some over the top movie magic, but watching Lea Thompson mow down Cubans with an assault rifle is just too much of a leap. 

In terms of acting, we're dealing almost exclusively in melodrama here. Patrick Swayze, a gifted actor by any standard, spends the entire film either yelling or bawling his eyes out. There is not much room for nuance and the whole thing ends up playing like John Milius knew he might not ever get to do anything this insane ever again so put absolutely every idea in his head down to celluloid, just to say that it existed. As a result, there are many laugh out loud moments - the invading army being genuinely terrified and unable to handle a 16 year old Charlie Sheen firing MPGs at them, Jennifer Grey slaughtering about 19 Russians in one sitting, Lea Thompson's completely unexplained love for a shot-down American pilot they all befriend - but none more than a random cutaway to one of the (presumably Cuban) generals writing a love letter to his sweetheart in what might be the most ridiculous cliched moment of a ridiculous cliched film. 

That said, even with all the mess and the unintentional hilarity on display, it is still an oddly watchable experience. Milius had enough skill as a director that he can hold your attention and his madman side is flagrantly on display just enough to keep things interesting. There's also a number of actors who went on to become mega stars, in what was a key entry for the 'brat pack' era of 80s cinema, and they are always worth watching - even when being asked to operate solely in the territory of the obvious. The 'rah rah America is great and the rest of the world is bad' is as subtle as a whoopee cushion but somehow there is something of an earnestness to the whole thing that you simply have to admire. Sometimes in stories this ludicrous, you can kind of see it in the eyes of the actors - they don't really believe. Here there is no trace of that. I suspect that this may be because the director was known for having a Colt .45 on his hip while doing his work and probably felt that this was his Orson Welles moment - wherein his personal beliefs (namely towards commie bastards) and his art seemed to line-up in a moment of perfect unison. Thus if anyone sniggered at that fact, they would likely have been shot. Regardless, even if the performances were fueled by sheer terror, they work. Just. 

It's hard to recommend this film wholeheartedly on the terms on which it considers itself - which is as a treatise on the scummery of the east and the greatness of America, a place where children will take arms and fend off invaders in the name of freedom. However, it is more a piece of harmless, silly, fun and when taken in that context, can be enjoyed much more roundly. It's never made clear why a number of things happen, to the point where you really do lose count, but oddly in this instance that is ok. Sometimes you just have to let a madman have his day. And have his day, he did. 

★★☆☆☆

JB.