Hands On A Hardbody (1997)

In this day and age, we have become used to a certain standard when it comes to the documentary. You can expect drone shots of stunning vistas, beautifully shot interviews, a score to accompany the drama - the format has gone high-end. However, there was a time when the documentary film was less about creating a cinematic experience and more about simply capturing real life as it unfolds before our eyes. The pioneering classic 'Hoop Dreams' (1994) being the first real breakout hit from the genre, and perhaps sparking the idea that real-life drama can be just as compelling as an Aaron Sorkin screenplay. But pretty soon, no matter how mundane the subject matter, the world seemed to work out that if you simply capture real people doing real things, magic will follow. And it doesn't get much more mundane, or compelling, than 'Hands on a Hardbody'.

Yes the name sounds vaguely pornographic, which might explain it's lack of wider release, but the truth of the title is anything but. What it actually alludes to is a contest put on by a local car dealership in Longview, Texas (about as Texas as Texas gets) where the participants simply have to keep at least one hand on a hardbody truck for as long as humanly possible. The last one standing wins the truck and becomes a local legend for doing so. That is it. It might not sound like much...well, it isn't much let's be honest...but what unfolds in the course of this contest is an absolutely fascinating look into the human soul, particularly in terms of what it takes - both physically and mentally - to become a champion. This is true even though we are talking about a silly contest taking place in a small town in east Texas. It is absolutely fascinating to watch.

1997 was a time less media savvy. It was a donkey's age before our phones made us all stars of our own reality show. So the people coming into this contest aren't doing it to 'go viral' or 'gain a following', they simply really want to win that truck. The fact that some weirdos with cameras are circling around and asking them questions seems to be a complete non-factor in their behaviour, and it is this purity of spirit, this level of unknowing, that makes for such an engaging watch.

It's unclear whether the pre-iPhone age was a more naiive time or whether people like this still exist in these parts of the world, but this host of characters appear to be straight out of a Coen Brothers film. We have the evangelical Christian woman, backed by her team of bouffont-haired friends from the local church, we have a former athlete who refuses to eat anything other than oranges and snickers bars throughout the contest, we have a woman devoid of teeth blowing kisses at her husband (also devoid of teeth) and spouting conspiracy theories about the judges, and we have one young woman that is both beauty-queen glamorous and hard as nails in equal measure. All of whom have deeply rich yee-haw regional accents and personality by the boatload. None of this is done for the cameras, as the competition is selected entirely at random, this is simply who they are. And who they are is gradually amplified by the fact that every last one of them sees that truck as a life-changing financial opportunity.

All are trying to de-throne what is arguably the film's main protagonist. His name is Benny Perkins and he is the only person competing who has won the contest previously, therefore he plays the role of enemy of the first-timers and resident wise old owl - carrying the air of sage calm that you might expect from a seasoned Everest expedition leader. This results in and endless array of quotes about what it takes to be a hardbody champion:

"You lose the contest when you lose your mind."

"In order to win this thing, the physical doesn't matter, you gotta have the mettle."

"When someone leaves the truck you get a rush of exhilaration, the only thing I can compare it to is the first time you kill a deer"

Again, it cannot be stressed enough that this was a time long before the 'nudge nudge wink wink there's a camera so I'm going to be outrageous' reality TV performance we are accustomed to now. This is simply who Benny is. He is a Hardbody champion, who looks 58 but is probably more like 28, talks with a thick country lilt, and means absolutely every word that he says. And this film is all the better for characters like him being at the centre of it.

As the contest unfolds, we start to see that - as easy as it sounds on paper - what these people go through is about as gruelling a physical and (mostly) mental test as you can have. Very quickly these 24 people realise that they will have to contend with boredom, extreme heat, and mental exhaustion and it becomes an almost immediate war of attrition. What transpires throughout the rest of the film is a fascinating insight into human behaviour when put through the rigors of an extreme test. Many of them start laughing uncontrollably, a few start crying for no reason, some of them grow increasingly desolate, some irritated, and so on. One girl, upon exiting the tournament, just simply wanders into the night. Keeping one hand on a car for a potentially ulimited amount of time is, it seems, a surprisingly gruelling task and, as anyone who has gone through a gruelling task knows, the insights they all seem to gain are pointed. A highlight being when one big, gruff, old Texas cowboy type actually breaks down crying about the joy of simply connecting with his fellow humans on a such a level. "You spend your life looking for friends and companions and you often ignore the person standing right next to you" he says between sobs.

It could be easy to write this task off as silly, or trivial, but the mental fortitude a person has to have in the locker to stay awake for 78 hours is not to be understated. It's an astonishing feat taken on by the most regular of regular folk. These aren't athletes necking Huel and Electrolytes between breaks, they are smoking cigarettes, drinking Coca-Cola's and just simply getting on with it because to them a truck worth $15K could provide a life-changing turn in their lives. This makes for an obviously fascinating watch, full of warmth and humor, and is a testament to a time when the documentary itself was a lot less 'showy' and instead served to simply capture people doing what they do.

Although I suspect they had no idea at the time, the filmmakers involved became something of a cult phenomenon with the likes of Quentin Tarantino claiming on The Tonight Show that this is the greatest documentary ever made. Yes, it is rough around the edges, it is unpolished, it flies in the face of what we know of the format today, but it is a film full of heart, warmth, quirky characters aplenty, and provides a fascinating insight into what happens to the minds of people pushing themselves to the limit. For people like myself, it's like discovering a time capsule of an era (which I can still vaguely remember) where people didn't expect fame or fortune from appearing in a contest like this, or a film like this. Thus the entire experience is richer and makes for a true reflection of the time and place in which this story happened. One step above a home movie, and one step below 'Rocky', this film exists in the in-between and makes for a compelling, hilarious, heartfelt, experience. You just wish they still made them like this today, for humans being earnest in their mad and wonderful ways will always make for a reason to tune in.

★★★★☆

JB.