Predator (1987)

When you really take a moment to think it through, the movie career of Arnold Schwarzenegger is amazing. From a small mining town in the mountains of deepest Austria, he rose to become the biggest movie star in the world. This being despite the fact that he can't really act, if we're being honest. Indeed such is the power and charisma of the man that his, shall we say, limited range became it's own sub-genre in the 1980s, and an extremely successful one at that. You didn't tune in to an Arnie film for sublime performance. You tuned in for massive guns, bulging biceps, memorable one-liners and Arnold scowling very slowly over his left shoulder at some point in every film. 

This shouldn't work. But my god it does. Arnold, to his everlasting credit, just commits fully to the cause every single time, somehow making films with the most preposterous of plots work. Take this film, for example, where he plays a former Major in the US marines now in charge of a crack paramilitary rescue unit. Does he sound remotely American? No he does not. Does he seem well versed in the nuances of elite jungle warfare? Not in the slightest. Do we believe he knows hands signals, vital to the safety of his troops and success of the mission, so well that they are like a second nature to him? Not even close. However, does he look sick holding a massive machine gun with a grenade launcher attached? You bet your sweet arse he does. 

Now, it should be said that this film was a major success in the 80s, as were most things Schwarzenegger put his name to, and spawned many many sequels and offshoot movies as a result. However, when you watch this film today, it's utterly bizarre that it's become a such a lasting success. The plot is pretty much insane. What begins as a standard jungle warfare / military espionage / guerillas vs good guys story slowly takes a turn to the absolutely surreal when Arnie's team slowly begin to realise that they are being hunted, completely inexplicably, by an ultra violent extra-terrestrial. Why? Who knows? In fact, to enjoy this film at all, it's probably best to leave the thinking cap at the door. 

That said, this film does have many strengths. Although not necessarily the first name you might think of when coming up with a list of famous action directors, John McTiernan (Die Hard, Hunt for Red October)  does a great job of directing on this one and the first two thirds of this film in particular are pretty great. As mentioned earlier, it begins as a high-octane, jungle-warfare, extravaganza, with Arnie and his guys smoking absolutely anything and everything that cross their path. There's double-crosses in the unit, indigenous female hostages, the intrigue levels are high. However, as the Predator starts to come more and more into the story things start to feel genuinely quite sinister and scary. Some truly gruesome scenes unveil and that, coupled with some outstanding directorial choices, really ratchet up the tension and create the claustrophobic sense that being lost in the deep jungle would no doubt give you in real life. The music also does a great job of heightening the senses - the ever-reliable Alan Silvestri coming up with the goods as per usual. 

The issue with this film is what is typically the issue with all films in this genre. As soon as you actually see the alien, the pressure valve of fear and uncertainty immediately releases. Particularly in a scene where the creature has to patch up a wound and is so obviously a bloke in a costume that you really can't help but laugh. When Predator was a lurking menace in the shadows, an invisible killing machine stalking it's prey from the trees, it is genuinely quite terrifying. When it begins to reveal itself to all and sundry, it's simply no longer scary. By the time you reach the inevitable showdown between Arnold and the monster, all fear and illusion is completely dissipated and this once highly efficient killing machine decides to down tools and just have a good old fashioned punch-up with our hero. Indeed much about the Predator's actions beg the question of 'why?'. There is brief moment mentioned where it only hunts the armed for 'sport' and a brief monologue from the imprisioned local girl about a 'demon making trophies of man'. But other than that, not much about the Predator's actions make sense. Why would it make the intergalactic journey in the first place? Is it purely on a hunting trip? Is there some sort of allegory here about how us humans are usually the hunters and could so easily be the hunted? For the Predator doesn't consume its victims, so you could easily make the case that the filmmakers are making a subversive statement about hunting as a sport that America seems to hold dear to their hearts. I'm not sure. It's hard to tell when Arnold is calling the alien "one ugly motherf*cker". So, again, maybe it's best to leave the thinking cap off for this one. 

Despite the last 20 minutes descending into absurdity, this film still holds up as a classic example of 80s action flicks ruling the day. There are biceps, explosions, massive guns, and gorey deaths aplenty which makes for a pretty enjoyable popcorn film. In the 80s, when Arnold's name was on the poster, you knew what you were getting so shame on you for judging this by any other criteria. As a major Schwarzenegger fan then and now, for me it still just about holds up and is worth a watch for the first two thirds. Don't overthink it and you'll find yourself entertained, titillated, and probably quite unsettled for a while. Also, by today's brain-dead standards, there is plenty of craft and cinematic technique on display too. Thus it's worth a visit. Now, on three repeat after me.....GET TO DA CHAAAPPPAAAAAAA. 

★★★☆☆

JB.