Hitman (2007) - Bret 'The Hitman' Hart
If you are a person who has somehow happened upon this blog, or whatever this is, then you will know that I unashamedly love WWF (now WWE) wrestling. Back in the day I loved it so much that I dressed up as a wrestler for my 10th birthday, and that wrestler was Bret 'The Hitman' Hart. Well, I was actually Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart because the kid I was sharing a birthday with was harder and cooler than me, but that's beside the point. The point is, in the early 1990s no one was cooler than the pink-clad, permanently sunglassed, Bret Hart.
The Hitman comes from one of the maddest family situations you could ask for. He is one of 12 children born and raised in deepest Calgary, Canada. The patriarch of this crazy clan was legendary wrestling promoter Stu Hart, who was famous for two things: being the chief of Stampede Wrestling (a territory in Northern Canada) and beating the living shite out of up and coming wrestlers in the basement of his house - affectionately known as the dungeon. Most of the Hart boys went into wrestling in one way or another but none were as gifted as Bret. Soon he became a fixture on the scene, traveling from town to town battering other performers and shagging everything in sight.
What is immediately most startling in this story, even many years before reaching the giddy heights of the WWF, is just how insane the world of pro wrestling is. One minute Hart finds himself in Puerto Rico fighting dysentary and running from knife-wielding maniacs, the next he's in Japan getting naked body slides from fans and fighting sumo midgets. To say there is never a dull moment would be quite the understatement. The bus journeys and antics of all of these strange, massive, larger than life cartoon characters are often hilarious, not to mention quite insightful, asides in Hart's ascension to the very top of the ranks.
There is no doubt that these guys work incredibly hard and are spectacular athletes. What they put their bodies through, often for relatively little pay, on a nightly basis is truly incredible to read about. However, from pretty early in Hart's career, the tragic underbelly of the sport becomes apparent. The amount of depravity, drug-abuse, and alcohol intake on display makes it quite clear why so many succumbed to the lifestyle, and the body count starts to rise pretty early in proceedings. From there it only seems to get worse and many of the characters mentioned suffer an array of woefully premature deaths. It's a sad fact that unfortunately underpins just about every milestone in this journey.
What it takes to go from 'I think I'd like to be a wrestler' to becoming the WWF World Champion is an almost unfathomable amount of graft and good fortune. For one, it's a miracle that more serious injuries don't happen in the ring, given the size of the men in question and the feats they have to perform. They're also quite drunk and/or high as a kite on multiple occasions throughout their weekly schedule, which only makes it more miraculous still. But even if you're good, you still have to tour the world, put your body in nightly peril, be a great entertainer as well as a a great athlete, and somehow be cool enough to draw a crowd. In short, what this book outlines in great detail is that their job, while fun and completely mental, is bloody hard. And Bret Hart's journey to the top is most certainly the exception, rather than the rule.
As a fan, what was most compelling about reading this autobiography was the level of detail that Hart pours into describing his life as a wrestler. You very much get a sense of time, place and what really goes on behind the scenes. It's not just the glitz and glamour that the sport became under the tutelage of Vince McMahon (with whom Hart has a sort of Stockholm Syndrome type relationship), it is so much more and this book spectacularly shines a light on the dirt under the fingernails daily comings and goings of these maniacs. There is an endless array of mad, bad, and wonderful characters to enjoy. There are many stories about your favourite wrestlers and if you read this and don't feel some sense of admiration for these guys, then something has gone wrong.
As for Hart himself, he has led a complicated life. One the one hand he's a low-key family man, seemingly happiest when playing with his kids in the backyard. On the other, he's a swaggering, larger than life, character adored by millions and fornicating with absolutely every female who happens across his path. Admittedly, he is honest about his misdeeds and makes no excuses for his behaviour, but there is a nagging sense that his portrayal of his ex-wife Julie (the mother of all 4 of his children) basically lays the blame at her doorstep because she didn't like him being away so much. Indeed you quite often get the sense that Bret Hart thinks he's in the right. This may be true, it may not. I suppose it's his book so obviously you're seeing things from his point of view, but I'd be interested to see the other side of some of these stories.
All in all, this book is a pretty fascinating read. If you're at all into wrestling, it's an absolute must. If you're more of a casual observer, there are plenty of insane stories to enjoy, but my god it is a long old read. I think it took me as long to read as the biography of Oppenheimer and I think it's quite clear which one of those people's lives deserved a read of such magnitude. One fathered the atomic age, the other knocked out Vince McMahon. Still, despite it's pretty staggering length, this book is a deeply compelling, surprisingly wild ride into a world that few of us will understand and even fewer will ever get remotely close to living. In fact, this book might be your only chance to live vicariously, so maybe it's worth donning the proverbial pair of lycra tights and giving it a whirl.
★★★☆☆
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